Quan woke up friday morning, which meant 1 pm, and was eager to talk to Huncho about these
frogs that appeared in their houses. They had no idea how they had gotten in and why there
were so many. He walked upstairs to Honcho's apartment, number 501, tripping on every other
broken, tilted step. He finally got to the door staring at it for a few seconds before he finally knocked.
Huncho opened the door immediately almost knowing exactly what time he would knock.
frogs that appeared in their houses. They had no idea how they had gotten in and why there
were so many. He walked upstairs to Honcho's apartment, number 501, tripping on every other
broken, tilted step. He finally got to the door staring at it for a few seconds before he finally knocked.
Huncho opened the door immediately almost knowing exactly what time he would knock.
"Hey, Quan come in!" Huncho said.
"Thanks," replied Quan.
The conversation started off slow as the two did not know each other very well. But once they dug
in deep to the frog conversation, you could tell that they were beginning to open up to one another.
in deep to the frog conversation, you could tell that they were beginning to open up to one another.
Huncho went into the kitchen, which was visible from where Quan was sitting, and opened up a cabinet
full of liquor.
full of liquor.
"You want something?" asked Huncho.
"Yeah, let me get some of that Hennessy." said Quan.
After a drink or two, Quan and Huncho instantaneously started to bond. For a couple more hours the
young men sat there talking about anything from sports, to music, to frogs. Suddenly Huncho looked at
Quan happily and asked slurring his words, "You want to go watch the circus?"
young men sat there talking about anything from sports, to music, to frogs. Suddenly Huncho looked at
Quan happily and asked slurring his words, "You want to go watch the circus?"
"Oh definitely, I forgot it was tonight."
They ordered a cab and arrived to the circus a little late. When they arrived at the gate to get in they
were so drunk they couldn't walk straight or even talk. This was obvious to the lady at the ticket booth
and they were both denied access. They walked around back to where an ally was. Out of the corner of
his eye, Quan thought he saw a stage lion that had gotten loose. The boys chased it around the back
streets of the town. After about an hour of chasing this animal Huncho turned to Quan and said "I don't
think you saw a lion dude, your just drunk." But Quan knew there was something, something that he
had to chase after or else he would never be satisfied without it.
were so drunk they couldn't walk straight or even talk. This was obvious to the lady at the ticket booth
and they were both denied access. They walked around back to where an ally was. Out of the corner of
his eye, Quan thought he saw a stage lion that had gotten loose. The boys chased it around the back
streets of the town. After about an hour of chasing this animal Huncho turned to Quan and said "I don't
think you saw a lion dude, your just drunk." But Quan knew there was something, something that he
had to chase after or else he would never be satisfied without it.
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ReplyDelete1. Really good sentence (plot moving, develops character, really nice sentence)
ReplyDeleteBut Quan knew there was something, something that he had to chase after or else he would never be satisfied without it.
2. Any question you want to ask?
What gave Quan the urge to chase after the “lion” and why was the urge so powerful?
3. Something you’re unclear about?
Why did Quan and Huncho decide to get completely wasted instead of just doing a little bit of drinking?
4. One suggestion to develop character
Delve more into what are Quan’s internal conflicts that he struggles with and how they affect his life and what happens to him.
Topic sentences :
ReplyDeleteQuan woke up friday morning, which meant 1 pm, and was eager to talk to Huncho about these frogs that appeared in their houses. Good sentence because it catches the audiences eye and it relates back to last blog.
Question (something you want to know?)
Why did Quan and Huncho bond over alcohol? Is Quan a semi-alcoholic or have a drinking history?
Why did Quan feel the need to chase something?
one thing you are unclear about ?
Unclear of how being drunk made you hallucinate to where you thought you saw a lion. Also unclear of how you and Huncho walked and took a taxi.
suggestion
I would briefly talk about your character history with drinking if he has been previously exposed to it. Also maybe don’t bond with Huncho so quickly, hang out more.